Inspirit Personal Growth

PART 1

A motivational speaker by the name of Gil Eagles, once said

“If you want to be successful, you must be willing to be uncomfortable.”

To realise your potential and achieve your goals, you must be willing to be uncomfortable - to do things that you’re afraid to do.  Although that sounds simple, most people back away when they face a frightening situation.  However, life’s “winners” are usually the people who do the things others are afraid to do.  For example, one of the most successful people I know is a guy who is totally comfortable with “cold calling” (making unsolicited phone calls).  Because he has no fear of rejection whatsoever, he has become a millionaire and has built a business employing dozens of people.

To be a successful person, you must confront your fears and take action!

The Comfort Zone

If you’ve ever been gripped by fear and anxiety before trying some new activity or venture, it’s usually because you’re stepping out of your comfort zone.  This is an important concept which has a direct link to your success and the development of your potential.

Each of us has a comfort zone, a zone of behavior that is familiar to us and where we feel comfortable and safe.   Think of your comfort zone as the inside of a circle.  The activities and situations that lie inside the circle are the routine and familiar parts of your everyday life, such as speaking with family and friends or completing your usual daily tasks at work or home.

However, you occasionally face experiences or challenges that are outside your comfort zone. When faced with something outside your comfort zone, you suddenly feel nervous or worried about the outcome of the situation.  You question yourself “Can I handle it?”, “Will they laugh at me?” “What will people think?”

Think about what fears are holding you back from reaching the next level of success or fulfilment in your life.  Whatever it is, just be honest and admit it. Most likely, thousands, if not millions, of people have the very same fear you have! In fact, let’s take a closer look at what most people are afraid of.

The Most Common Fears

Jeff Keller, author of “Attitude is Everything” tells how, during his presentations, he distributes index cards to the audience members and asks them to write down, anonymously, the fears that are standing in the way of their professional and personal growth. Then, he collects the cards and read them aloud.

What do you think people write on those index cards? In most audiences, regardless of profession or geographical location, the same answers come up again and again. Here are some of the most common fears they identify:

1.       Public Speaking or Giving Presentations. In virtually every group, this is the #1 fear. The vast majority of people are terrified about speaking in front of a group of people.

2.       Hearing the word “NO” or having their ideas rejected. This response is very common among salespeople, especially those who make cold calls.

3.       Changing Jobs or Starting Their Own Business. Over the years, more and more people are listing this fear. We have a lot of unhappy workers in corporate Australia today, and they yearn for a more satisfying work environment… but they’re afraid to do anything about it!

4.       Telling Managers or Executives “Negative News” (what the managers or executives don’t want to hear). This one is self-explanatory.

5.       Talking to People in Upper Management. Many entry-level workers and even managers are terrified about speaking to executives in the company. They even hesitate to make “small talk” with the president or CEO of their organization – for fear they’ll say some-thing silly or appear stupid.

6.       Fear of Failure. Those who won’t try something new for fear that it won’t work out.

Well, are you surprised by any of the fears on this list?  Do you have any of them now – or have you had them in the past? The truth is, the overwhelming majority of people experience these fears at some point in their lives.

And if you have some fears that weren’t on this list, don’t worry about it. You are stronger than any of your fears… and you can overcome them!

PART 2

When confronted with an anxiety-producing event or prospect, most people will retreat to avoid the fear and anxiety. Backing away does relieve the fear and anxiety that would have resulted if you followed through with the activity. For instance, if someone asks you to make a presentation within your company, and you decline, you save yourself the sleepless nights you’d have worrying about it… and the nervousness you’d experience in the days leading up to the presentation.  Sadly, the one and only benefit you get by retreating is a momentary avoidance of anxiety.

The Price You Pay

Consider the price you pay when you back away from those fears that are standing in the way of your growth. Here’s what happens:

Your self-esteem is lowered.

You feel powerless and frustrated.

You sabotage your success.

You lead an uneventful, boring life.

Is this a price worth paying for the short-term avoidance of fear and anxiety? Most of us are indeed willing to pay this price, simply to avoid temporary discomfort and possible ridicule from others.  In the long run, retreating is not the best way to handle your problem. You’ll never be highly successful or develop your talents to the fullest unless you’re willing to confront your fears.

More than 20 years ago, I realized that I would never get anywhere until I learned to confront my fears and take action.  I remember my first presentation to a corporate client around the late 1980’s.  I was terrified. I couldn’t take my eyes off my notes. Fortunately, the content of my presentation was very solid and the audience responded well. But I had a long way to go before I could call myself a good presenter or speaker.  On the second presentation, I was a little better. And when I had done five or so presentations, I began to rely less and less on my notes… and to develop a stronger connection with the clients.  By the time I left the industry a few years ago, giving presentations to clients was like second nature.  But let’s not forget that it all started with a scared person who gave a very unimpressive talk in 1988.  Just remember you have to start somewhere.

Of course, I wouldn’t have confronted my fears if I hadn’t first developed a positive attitude. A “can-do” attitude provided me with the extra push I needed to take action. When you believe you can do something, you have the courage to move forward despite being afraid. If you need to, do some work on yourself to change your attitude and improve your confidence.  There’s lots of great stuff on the internet, invest in one of the many personal development courses available or hire a coach.  When you take control of your life, all sorts of possibilities will open up for you.  Unfortunately, you can’t wave a magic wand that will take away your fears and anxiety.  It does take some work, but there are a couple of ways you can immediately muster the courage to do those things that you fear, which are necessary for your success and growth:

Reframe The Situation – Next time you face a scary situation, take a different outlook. Most people start thinking, “I won’t be able to do this well and other people may look down on me or reject me.” They get hung up about how well they’re going to perform and decide to retreat. While you should always go in with a positive attitude and prepare beforehand to the extent possible, don’t be overly concerned with the result or the outcome.  After all, is it a matter of life and death?  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  Consider yourself an immediate winner when you take the step and do the thing you fear.  You’re a winner just by entering the arena and participating, regardless of the result.

Moving Forward Even When You’re Afraid – Let’s assume you want to ask the boss for a raise.  The boss is a bit intimidating, but you confront your fear and do it anyway.  In this situation, the worst thing that could happen is that you don’t get the raise, but you’re still no worse off.  You may find the boss has a new-found respect for you because you showed the courage, and you’ll be next in line when pay rises are being considered.  You will probably also enhance your own self-esteem in the process.

As they say in the Nike ad, “Just Do It” – Ralph Waldo Emerson offered some simple advice, which, if followed, can transform your life. He said, “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” While this advice makes good sense, but some people are just too afraid to act. Remember my prior words about the steep price you pay when you let your fears dominate you.  In the end, running away from your fears is a losing strategy. It will only bring you frustration and unhappiness.

There’s nothing wrong with having some fears.  Successful people have fears. The difference is that successful people take action and move forward despite being afraid. It’s not always easy, but you’ll always feel better about yourself when you face your fears.

So, be willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle – with exercise. When you do something outside your comfort zone a few times, that same thing becomes part of your comfort zone. And there’s another bonus when you’re willing to expand your comfort zone – when you push through fear and take action in some areas of your life, you’ll develop confidence in other areas, as well.

Life doesn’t reward those who refuse to expose themselves to difficulties and challenges.  It’s important that you put yourself in a position to win -and that means taking action despite fear.  Confront your fears… and you’re on the way to developing your potential and leading the exciting, fulfilling life you deserve. It’s a decision you’ll never regret!