Inspirit Personal Growth

 When confronted with an anxiety-producing event or prospect, most people will retreat to avoid the fear and anxiety. Backing away does relieve the fear and anxiety that would have resulted if you followed through with the activity. For instance, if someone asks you to make a presentation within your company, and you decline, you save yourself the sleepless nights you’d have worrying about it… and the nervousness you’d experience in the days leading up to the presentation.  Sadly, the one and only benefit you get by retreating is a momentary avoidance of anxiety.

 The Price You Pay

 Consider the price you pay when you back away from those fears that are standing in the way of your growth. Here’s what happens:

 Your self-esteem is lowered.

You feel powerless and frustrated.

You sabotage your success.

You lead an uneventful, boring life.

 Is this a price worth paying for the short-term avoidance of fear and anxiety? Most of us are indeed willing to pay this price, simply to avoid temporary discomfort and possible ridicule from others.  In the long run, retreating is not the best way to handle your problem. You’ll never be highly successful or develop your talents to the fullest unless you’re willing to confront your fears.

 More than 20 years ago, I realized that I would never get anywhere until I learned to confront my fears and take action.  I remember my first presentation to a corporate client around the late 1980’s.  I was terrified. I couldn’t take my eyes off my notes. Fortunately, the content of my presentation was very solid and the audience responded well. But I had a long way to go before I could call myself a good presenter or speaker.  On the second presentation, I was a little better. And when I had done five or so presentations, I began to rely less and less on my notes… and to develop a stronger connection with the clients.  By the time I left the industry a few years ago, giving presentations to clients was like second nature.  But let’s not forget that it all started with a scared person who gave a very unimpressive talk in 1988.  Just remember you have to start somewhere.

 Of course, I wouldn’t have confronted my fears if I hadn’t first developed a positive attitude. A “can-do” attitude provided me with the extra push I needed to take action. When you believe you can do something, you have the courage to move forward despite being afraid. If you need to, do some work on yourself to change your attitude and improve your confidence.  There’s lots of great stuff on the internet, invest in one of the many personal development courses available or hire a coach.  When you take control of your life, all sorts of possibilities will open up for you.  Unfortunately, you can’t wave a magic wand that will take away your fears and anxiety.  It does take some work, but there are a couple of ways you can immediately muster the courage to do those things that you fear, which are necessary for your success and growth:

 Reframe The Situation – Next time you face a scary situation, take a different outlook. Most people start thinking, “I won’t be able to do this well and other people may look down on me or reject me.” They get hung up about how well they’re going to perform and decide to retreat. While you should always go in with a positive attitude and prepare beforehand to the extent possible, don’t be overly concerned with the result or the outcome.  After all, is it a matter of life and death?  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  Consider yourself an immediate winner when you take the step and do the thing you fear.  You’re a winner just by entering the arena and participating, regardless of the result.

 Moving Forward Even When You’re Afraid – Let’s assume you want to ask the boss for a raise.  The boss is a bit intimidating, but you confront your fear and do it anyway.  In this situation, the worst thing that could happen is that you don’t get the raise, but you’re still no worse off.  You may find the boss has a new-found respect for you because you showed the courage, and you’ll be next in line when pay rises are being considered.  You will probably also enhance your own self-esteem in the process.

 As they say in the Nike ad, “Just Do It” – Ralph Waldo Emerson offered some simple advice, which, if followed, can transform your life. He said, “Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” While this advice makes good sense, but some people are just too afraid to act. Remember my prior words about the steep price you pay when you let your fears dominate you.  In the end, running away from your fears is a losing strategy. It will only bring you frustration and unhappiness.

 There’s nothing wrong with having some fears.  Successful people have fears. The difference is that successful people take action and move forward despite being afraid. It’s not always easy, but you’ll always feel better about yourself when you face your fears.

 So, be willing to expand your comfort zone. The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle — with exercise. When you do something outside your comfort zone a few times, that same thing becomes part of your comfort zone. And there’s another bonus when you’re willing to expand your comfort zone – when you push through fear and take action in some areas of your life, you’ll develop confidence in other areas, as well.

 Life doesn’t reward those who refuse to expose themselves to difficulties and challenges.  It’s important that you put yourself in a position to win —and that means taking action despite fear.  Confront your fears… and you’re on the way to developing your potential and leading the exciting, fulfilling life you deserve. It’s a decision you’ll never regret!